Latest Part 3

Haven't blogged in more than a month. Sorry, been busy flunking out of grad school.

1. Okay so I haven't really flunked out. Not yet at least. But somehow I've managed to get C's on the last five exams I took. Not so bad in undergrad. Career-threatening in grad school as I am allowed only so many 2.0's overall. So that's a little on the crappy side.

2. Survived the weekend with the ex. He is still not over me. And I don't mean that in any egotistical way whatsoever. Bugger still owes me money.

3. Birthday in a few weeks. The big quarter century. Yippee. I just spent the last two hours completing a wish list. Thought it would be fun if I did 25 things. It was harder than I expected.

4. Survived my first date since the breakup. Sorry, no chemistry. Bummer. I think God really is trying to tell me to cool it and just concentrate on school. Too bad. Boys really are a lot of fun.

5. Ran my second 5K. 31:40. I know I'm slow. I'm new at this. Give me a break. I was only two minutes slower than the third place winner in my age category, so ha! Well heck, I haven't run a 10 minute mile in years, so I think I'm doing pretty well. Plus in a few weeks, I'll be in a whole new age group. Maybe that'll give me a better chance. ;)

Dr. Pooh

I just wanted to take some time to recognize one of my Physical Therapy teachers, Dr. Pooh. No, his name is not really Dr. Pooh, but I just realized today that he is completely Winnie the Pooh-like. He's a little on the slow side (compared to the other faculty here) and is basically this big teddy bear that tries to do his best day to day and looks to see the good in people. I will admit, he drove me absolutely crazy for the first few months, but after a while I have really come to appreciate him. He is honestly a really sweet guy. He may not be an incredible professor, but he tries and I admire his effort to connect with the class. At first his teaching style drove me up the wall, but after a while I stopped looking to be inspired to learn by some bold intellectual and instead was satisfied learning from a nice guy who has been in this field for a while and knows a lot. Cheers to you, Dr. Pooh!

Physical Therapy in the NFL

So I'm watching the Redskins Seahawks game today. Find out Jansen on the Redskins is playing with two broken thumbs. Chuwabiddah??? (Translation: Say what?) My anatomy teacher is a huge sports buff and was just talking last week about professional athletes and how they get injured, get surgery, and get back to work way too fast. I think this is a prime example. It honestly boggled my mind to see the cast/splint they put on this Jansen's hands. The guy is playing football with broken bones. How is this alright?

Physical therapy for football players has to be somewhat of a joke. I mean, in school I'm learning about the importance of successful recovery and rehabilitation. I hear about all these different injuries that can happen and how physical therapists can help to improve these people's lives and prevent reinjury. A PT in the NFL must think to herself or himself "What am I doing? I'm merely providing temporary help. After I work with these players they are just going to injure themselves all over again in one way or another. And I know in the back of my mind that these guys are going to have major health problems as they get older." But then again, in PT school you also learn about taking care of the needs of the patient and helping them to achieve their goals. And often what you think their goal should be is not what they want. But our job is to get them to their goals. So I guess for the NFL PTs their job is to get their patients back to the field as soon as possible.

need my cox

Dr. Cox, that is. So I just realized that Scrubs won't be airing new episodes until mid-season. So bummed. Guess I have to wait until Chicken Little comes out for the latest dose of Zach Braff. Eh, who am I kidding? I'm not gonna watch it. I thought about starting a petition on the Petition Site to get Scrubs back on TV. Didn't happen. I would also like to take this moment to say that I do not like Mandy Moore and Zach Braff together. Maybe it's just because I like Zach a lot more than I like her. But whatever. I just can't believe that Joey is still getting air time when Scrubs is a megazillion times better. At least the Emmy people are finally catching on. Despite their preposterous need to cling on to Will & Grace, they managed to recognize the fantastic work being done on the Scrubs set. Well, at least Zach has an Grammy. If only Neil Flynn & John C. McGinley could get a little love too. ;)

A New Chapter

I took this pic of East Philly on Labor Day 2005.

Life right now is very different from anything I've ever lived before.

1. Graduate school
I'm here. The things I'm learning relate directly to my career. I'm not learning physics, bio, or chem. I am literally learning how to be a physical therapist. Weird...

2. Living on the East Coast
I've left my comfort zone. I'm farther than I have ever been from everything that I know and love. And I am all by myself here.

3. No current romance
So much all by myself. Broke up with my boyfriend of six years. And I guess I'm lonely now. I'm just so used to expressing and giving my love and now I feel like I have all this affection to give and no one to give it to. There are so many things I miss about having someone. Don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly fine being on my own, but I just really miss having that connection with someone. Ick, this sounds so pathetic I have to stop talking about it!

4. Blogging
Before I used to blog because I knew that someone in particular was reading it. Not so much these days. I don't even know if that person still reads this. Now writing has become a nice outlet for things. My very first entry into this blog I asked, who in the world is ever going to read this? But now, that doesn't matter anymore. This blog has come to be an outlet for rantings about physical therapy school, thoughts about life in general, and poetry from time to time.

I think that's all I have to say for now. David out. ;)

The Bert Shirt

I wore my Bert shirt today. Got plenty of compliments on it. I just have to express my love for Bert. I truly feel that he is completely misunderstood by so many people. Sure, he may seem boring compared to his roommate Ernie. But in my opinion, Ernie is just annoying and inconsiderate. Like that time when Bert wanted to go to sleep, but Ernie wouldn't let him. What kind of roommate is that?

Bert is such a nice guy. He enjoys his collections and wears cool argyle socks. Why wouldn't you like him? I believe wholeheartedly that there is always something to be said for that unusual guy. Give the other girls their Tom Cruises, Brad Pitts, Ernies, whatever. Let me have the Topher Graces, Zach Braffs, and Berts. That's my kind of guy.

The latest, Part 2

I just wanted to take some time to acknowledge some changes in my life. Yes, this move to the East Coast has inspired new interests. Or perhaps, just enhanced old interests.

First, I've been drinking more than I ever have in my entire life. It has mainly been beer that has been wetting my whistle. Maybe it's just that I didn't hang out with my beer drinking buds in California enough. I don't know. But we will have to see how much longer I can keep going out and drinking without a job. Funds are running low.

And speaking of running, I've been doing that more these days as well. I don't run very far or for very long, but I've been doing it and that oughtta count. My roommate asked me if I wanted to run the Scott Mackler 5K with her in a month. At first I thought no way. I probably run a 15 minute mile. Then I figured, eh, what the hey, I can train for a month. It's only a 5K. If I'm slow, then I'm slow. At least it will give me a goal to work toward. And of course, it's for a good cause.

Lastly, I've been watching more sports than ever before. I don't know if it's the fact that I finally have cable tv, but I've been watching baseball, football, soccer, and tennis. Baseball I'm probably watching more because of the greater variety I get with cable (I love this game!). Tennis I've been watching more because my roommate watches it and I've always liked watching. Soccer, again because of that same roommate, and then World Cup is next year so the games are a little more exciting. Football is a result of both of my roommates. One is a Patriots fan. The other is a Redskins fan, but more importantly has a fantasy football team. And Shaun Alexander is on her team, so now I know I'll be keeping up with my Seahawks.

All pleasant changes. Well, with the beer, it's all good as long as I keep running. Gotta keep all those calories off. Otherwise life is fine and dandy.

Giving up

Dave: "So, Didi, what you're saying is... you're not coming???"

That's right. After driving myself crazy for the past five days trying to get tickets to the Foo Fighters concert I've decided to give up. What a lame fan, I know. First I find out they are playing in DC. So I scrounge around for tickets. No luck. Then they announce a show in Philly. Even better. But all the internet presale tickets are in galactically crappy seats. Then in class today I find out I have to spend another $75 on books, a nametag, a stethoscope, and sphygmomanometer. And that was the kicker. I really can't afford to go to a concert any more. I have no income and unfortunately need to eat for the next couple months. So alas, no Foo for me. :*(

Only a weekend

I really hate being a chick sometimes. Mainly because I often have more feelings and emotions than I really care to. And these can be rather bothersome. So in an effort to clear my head, vent a little, etcetera etcetera, I wrote this little ditty.

have to keep reminding myself
that it was only a weekend
before i overanalyze
and go way off the deep end

tried my best to have control
i would not get too close
but things just went the way they did
my heart has been exposed

can't think too much about it
need to stop asking why
just accept it, no regrets
and that should get me by

i refuse to deal with drama
so i'm getting off this train
as much as i really want it
love will have to wait

An ever expanding empire

With the recent news about Google's newest goal of acquiring a niche in the world of instant messaging, I must admit alarms went off in my head. Yet, dare I comment on Blogger, a Google supported platform? Of course I do! After all, that is the purpose of blogs. Furthermore, if Blogger decides to sever my access, it will be of little concern to me. I mean, I would be sad, but I'll live. So here I go.

Alongside Google's main search engine, programs like Gmail, Picasa, and, of course, Blogger, have garnered significant user bases, and the advent of instant messaging undoubtedly promises much more. But do you hear that tiny voice that seems to be repeating one word? Hint: starts with M and ends with onopoly. Or perhaps instant messaging is just one more innocent step in the creation of a friendly Google universe where access to all these programs remains free to users and they receive quality services complete with the latest technology available. If that's the case, go ahead, Google. Improve my life.

Still disoriented

So my favorite story of being the Pacific fish in the Atlantic ocean is the one about the time I got lost in Delaware. I'm looking for Borders so I can go study and I accidentally take the wrong exit. No problem. I'll just take side streets to back to where I need to be. I don't need a map, I can figure this out. So I come to a stop sign at a T-intersection. Two choices: 40 East or 40 West. I thinking to myself, "Okay, I need to head away from the ocean which means I go... east!" So I take 40 east and I'm driving down it for a while. Still no Borders. I keep driving and driving thinking it has to be here somewhere. All of a sudden I see these big buildings everywhere and whaddya know, I'm in the city. This basically means I'm many miles from Borders. Then it dawns on me. I smack myself in the forehead I'm such an numbnut. THE OCEAN IS EAST!!

All this time that I've been living on the West Coast I've always oriented myself according to the ocean. Unfortunately, in Delaware, along with all the other states on the Eastern seaboard, the ocean is on the east.

Despite the fact that this silly little event occured more than a month ago, I often catch myself setting my bearings in the wrong direction due to the fact that I still forget the ocean is on the east. I guess what I really wanted to say was that I never truly realized how something so simple as finding my way around town could become difficult because of an idea, like where the ocean is situated, that was thoroughly and deeply ingrained in my head and which would later turn out to be quite significant when changing coasts.

Good-bye to Gross

Okay, last exam of gross anatomy is over with. I think I did okay on the lab practicals. The written part. Well it looked at me, laughed its mighty head off, and said "Foolish girl. Your idiocy is charming." So yeah. That was that. It's over. I should find out today or tomorrow how horrible I did. Okay, I'm being way too pessimistic.

So to combat my minor depression I'm going to go to a baseball game. Geez, I feel like it's been forever since I've gone, but really it's only been about two months. I don't know why I love baseball so much. It's true, there's a lot of sitting around a waiting. But don't you do the same thing in golf? And people love that sport. Oh well.

The real highlight of this week was saying good-bye to cadaver lab. No more dead bodies, no more weird smells, no more disgusted looks from other people who can smell you right after you've been working on a cadaver for 2-3 hours. And my lab clothes. They are going in the dumpster today. From here on out it I'll be working with the living and that is perfectly fine with me.

8.5 hours to go

My last exam for gross anatomy is in 8.5 hours. I guess I'll sleep for 6 of them. I'm not sure when I'm going to sleep. All I know is that I want to finish this chapter on the ankle and then maybe if I have energy go through my flashcards once more before I go to sleep. Then maybe I'll feel better about myself.

I am literally hanging on by a thread right now. Well maybe it's more of a small rope. I need to maintain a B in order to stay in the program and my carelessness on the first exam really pulled me out of a safe spot. I totally rushed through the first exam, making way too many dumb mistakes. The second exam was only better by a bit. This time I have to tell myself to slow down and really think. There seems to be still so much that I don't know. And I just really don't feel like studying anymore. And normally that's not a bad thing because that usually means that I've studied so much that I don't want to go over things again. But right now there is still much that I need to run through before I feel okay. Problem is, like I said earlier, that I don't fee like doing it. I need some motivation. But where am I going to get motivation at 1:40 am? Oooh, I'll bet the meteor shower looks pretty good right now.

I feel like eating to keep me awake too, but I'm afraid of having too many calories today. Because I really don't know if I'm going to workout much this weekend, what with my sister visiting. So... yeah.... Here I am. I just can't wait for this all to be over with. Then I have two grandiose weeks of freedom! Ah, I can't wait.

the prettiest sacral plexus you ever saw

This here is the madness that I have to know by Friday. That's right. The nerve pathway to your genitalia. Fascinating, isn't it?

how dare she!

I'm loaning my roommate my red dress for this wedding that she's going to next weekend. And she looks damn hot in it. She looks better in this dress than I ever do. I guess it helps to be three inches taller. Grrrr... makes me so angry! Why can't I be tall and thin with blue eyes and blonde hair? Oh, because I'd start to resemble every other person in Delaware. Still, does she have to look so nice in my clothes???

what now?

she thinks she knows how she feels
and that dictates how she acts
but what dictates how she feels
changes when she turns her back

now a new plan of action
based on the changes before
things are starting to look up
she may possibly end up with more

then another change happens
now she doesn't know how to act
should she start doing this?
or is it better just to do that?

she thought she knew what to do
she knew the actions to take
maybe she's just overthinking it all
she hopes she's not making a mistake

-d

The latest

Well it's Friday and I felt like I should waste a couple more minutes before I really start studying for my last anatomy exam. Actually, the studying started a couple days ago (which was, in all actuality, a couple days after my last exam). That's right. I started studying for my final a week and half in advance. This would never happen in undergrad. Oh those were the days. I could totally get by with studying only a day or so before the test. These days, it's honestly just been study study study. Everyday I have to study. Each one of my friends that I saw go off to grad school before me lamented to me about their first year of it. And no matter what kind of program they were in, it was definitely more work than undergrad. And now I know how they feel.

On another note. I miss California. How weird is that? I was totally fed up with that place in the six months before I had to leave it. So many things about it were driving me crazy. Not to mention, some people in particular. But now that I am on the other side of the country, I miss it. I miss the Mexican food. I miss the Asian food. I miss my Mexicans and my Asians. Dim sum, pho, carnitas, and hookah? Nowhere to be found in these parts. I miss how everything (mainly shopping) is nice and close. I miss the cool ocean breeze. I miss the ARC. I miss my friends. I miss playing outside with them. And I don't know if I'll ever go back either.

My plan right now is to head back to Washington after I'm done here. But who knows if that will happen? Things happen, plans change. California, Washington, or somewhere else. I could land anywhere. I guess right now I have to sit back and enjoy my time on the East Coast. And try to decide in a month from now whether or not I want to grow my hair out again or keep it short. Decisions, decisions. ;)

Running adventures

Earlier this week I went running on campus. It was a perfectly gorgeous afternoon. And when I was done I felt incredibly good. I haven't felt that good after working out in a long time. I don't know if it was the perfect day or the great run or both. Gotta love those endorphins.

Then this morning I went running around the neighborhood. Just chillen listening to my music when I realize something's following me. I look behind me and there's this little pomeranian/cocker spaniel of a dog running after me and barking her little head off. And then the little bitch sinks her teeth into my heel. A couple inches higher and she would have gotten my Achilles.

Mental note: keep vigilant when running by that particular property.

Myron, my darling

This is Myron Aquino McWilliams (he's part Filipino). He is a Blue Star flower of the species Amsonia illustris. He is quite lovely, is he not? My dear Myron is past his flowering season, but I think he still looks good. He is doing fine as of now, but I fear for his safety come winter. Until the bitter cold arrives Myron and I shall enjoy our days of heat and humidity in the summer sun. Perhaps we shall indulge in an Otter Pop or two.

Well that's a horse of a different color

For the past few weeks I've been volunteering at an equestrian center that has a therapeutic riding program. On the first day I came I thought all I would have to do would be to stand next to a kid while she's on the horse and make sure she doesn't fall off. Well I do that, but I've also learned how to catch and tack up a horse and basically how to be around horses. These animals are enormous and quite intimidating at first. But working with them has really given me a new respect for these beautiful creatures. Of course, most of the time I am working with ponies, but it is still a really cool thing. They are so big and strong, and yet are so gentle. And they all have different personalities. Yes, this is definitely something I never thought I would do. Yeah, never thought I would be under a pony picking the dirt out of her hooves. Another check on the list of East Coast Adventures.

Big Al's Heart

In Gross Anatomy this summer I've had to dissect a cadaver. This was one of the reasons I didn't want to go to medical school. I didn't think I could do cadaver work. So when I found out I would have to do it for physical therapy I was a little freaked. I had worked in a hospital helping out with wound care and must admit I almost fainted twice because of things that I saw. So I wouldn't have been suprised if I had fainted the first day of lab. But these past few weeks haven't been all that bad. So I've been up to my elbows in fluid, fascia, and viscera. I am still constantly fascinated with the human body. And I haven't fainted once.

We named our cadaver Big Al. He must be about 5'9", but he is a very skinny thing. Anyhow, we took his heart out the other day. It was incredible. Here I was holding this man's heart in my hands. This heart used to be the thing that kept him alive. It would beat day in and day out. It beat fast when he was ten years old riding his bike as fast as he could. It felt like it skipped a beat when he saw the love of his life. It hurt whenever he was very sad. And then one day it stopped. And now I had it.

What an honor to hold someone's heart in your hands. :)

Summer Storm

There is a thunderstorm going on right now. Definitely didn't have these in California. Washington had the rain, but not the thunder and lightning that I am seeing right now. It is really quite beautiful. Think I'll write a poem about it.

Sheets of rain on my window
Hear the thunder growl
Flashes intermittently
The sky it seems to scowl

Safe inside my bedroom
Where it's dry and warm
From here I gaze in awe
At a beautiful summer storm

A bad dream

I was outside on this gorgeous sunny day in a huge grassy field. And all these people were around me throwing baseballs, playing catch. And I didn't have my glove.

I was so sad.

I need to find someone to play catch with over here. I miss my ARCmanians.

Newark Smells

So I go work out at the gym. Man comes over with big BO cloud and decides to run on the treadmill next to me. Gag. I decide to stick it out for a few more minutes before I leave.

Leave the gym and there is a pungent raw sewage smell permeating the air. It's quite undeveloped country-ish and it seems to be everywhere. Gag once again.

Working in gross anatomy lab and after exposing the abdominal muscles, Big Al (the cadaver who is already smelly with formaldehyde) emits a putrid smell that is noted by the rest of the class. Gag yet again.

I never thought one day could smell so horrible. The East Coast continues to amaze me.

finally

holy shmakolies, do i feel nice right now. And it's all thanks to this little lady pictured to the left. Totally needed this two days ago, but it's all good. Might just head to bed early tonight. Mexican food in Delaware is... well let me put it this way... beef tamale=mexican chef boyardee in a tortilla. Not so fantastic. I miss SoCal. At least the good Mexican food. And the margarita I had. weak. But I had enough to get me to a good place. :)

David out.

Anatomy, ponies, and the Smiths

Two and a half weeks of studying culminated today during my first exam of graduate school. I was so tired of studying earlier this week, but pressed on and now I am done. Wanted to go for beers afterward, but had to do volunteer work at a riding center instead. Most uncool. Watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith though. Okay I guess. The important thing is that I am done with that horrible test and now I don't want to talk about it or even think about it. It's the weekend and I am doing whatever the hell I want. I refuse to look at anatomy for the next 48 hours. Starting........ now!

wrong way

Don't you hate it when you go to the public library only to discover that it is closed on Thursdays and then when you head out to go to Borders instead you realize you're going the wrong direction on a one way street and the light just turned green for the cars that are about to plow into you so you have to use your kickass backing skills to get you out of the mess you've put yourself in?

I hate it when that happens.

Eight hours and counting until my first anatomy exam of graduate school.

What am I doing here?

A blog... who on earth is over going to read this? The only reason I am blogging is because one of my bestest friends backed me into a corner and told me if I didn't do it I'd be dead meat. So here I am alive and kicking. The first of many blogs I am sure.

Current status:
Location: Maryland. Basically Delaware.
Studying for anatomy exam which will commence in approximately 32 hours.
Recently chopped hair yet again and contemplating growing it out.
Right weight, wrong size ass.
Desperately missing my West Coast.

So now I could go into some spiel about life and love and happiness and the meanings of all these things and get all philosophical. But I'm a little dumbed down right now with all the memorizing I've been trying to do. I'm sure something cool will happen this weekend that I can write about, but for now I'll just let this little tidbit be the one that got it all started.

David out! :)